I work long hours, 12 hour shifts to be exact. I work shifts, days and nights. Sometimes after some of those night shifts I’m pretty tired. Ok…after MOST night shifts I’m very tired, and as I’ve mentioned in my Previous post being tired sometimes gives me a case of the sillies. Sometimes on my drive home my brain kind of drifts off to a place all it’s own, and most of the time that place is somewhere the normal person’s brain doesn’t usually go. This morning on my drive home I started, initially thinking about the stuff you never saw in the Star Wars Saga. Then it expanded from there to me thinking about all the weird things that exist in the Star wars universe that would definitely not fly here. So I thought to myself…”Self, this could possibly make a pretty funny blog post”. So without further ado her are my insights into things missing and never seen in the star wars Universe.
Where’s The Bathroom?
Ok, I know that in most movies you don’t really see the main characters excuse themselves from a dramatic scene because they have to make a tinkle, But I’m curious. What would a bathroom on an Imperial Star Destroyer look like? Do the Officers get breaks so they can “Take the Dewback to the Oasis”?
I dunno if this is wrong or not but I have always wondered what the inside of Han Solo’s Bedroom looked like. What kind of colour palette does a rogue intergalactic smuggler have in his boudoir? What about closet space, Dressers, reading material? No, I’m not Gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but I’ve always had that in the back of my mind. Bedrooms are almost never seen in the whole saga (Save for a single scene in Episode 2 in Padme’s bedroom) but I’ve often wondered what personal living quarters looked like. They’re often described in Star Wars novels, but I would love to see what Ol’ George would do visually with it.
Ok, the Star Wars universe is full of advanced technology, but have you ever wondered how Laundry was done? I didn’t see a Laundromat on Hoth so how did they go about cleaning their fatigues? Even if there are in fact laundry facilities, I can’t see them having to fold clothes anyway. Their society has laser weapons, advanced scanner capabilities, and faster than light space travel, so they must have some sort of contraption that folds your unmentionables and puts them in a drawer for you, no?.
Ok, we live in a society where a person can sue a restaurant chain for spilling a coffee in their own lap and win millions of dollars in reparation because “They didn’t know the hot coffee would be so hot” and now every cup of coffee has the words “Caution – Hot” on the cup because of it. But a world world without handrails? Impossible right? But the advance civilization of Star Wars has some how been able to skirt liability and has created structures and walkways at sometimes dizzying heights without hand rails. Look at this picture
|Look out for that first step Lord Vader…It’s a Doozie|
…on our planet all it would take was one absent minded officer to fall into that pit and he would sue the pants off the Emperor and Vader and the whole Galactic Empire. Extra money for pain and suffering and also stress pay for constantly being worried about being Force Choked to death by Lord Vader. That dude is going to C L E A N U P ! ! ! !
Just a few meandering observations before we really start this long weekend. Happy Labour day and…